jimmytwo-times:

I’m so serious if someone is pissing you off yell at their wiener and all will be well because they’ll have no idea I know I said this before but it’s worth a shot

2 notes

sueting:

electroego:

and they say gay marriage is unnatural 

i’m screaming so hard right now ^

A whole potato he eats

sueting:

electroego:

and they say gay marriage is unnatural 

i’m screaming so hard right now ^

A whole potato he eats

(Source: fiftyshadesofmacygray)

28,017 notes

urineldiot:

his palms are sweaty, knees weak
arms spaghetti
There’s vomit on his spaghetti already,
mom’s spaghetti
He’s spaghetti, but on the surface he
looks calm and ready to drop spaghetti
but he keeps on forgetting what he
spaghetti

urineldiot:

his palms are sweaty, knees weak

arms spaghetti

There’s vomit on his spaghetti already,

mom’s spaghetti

He’s spaghetti, but on the surface he

looks calm and ready to drop spaghetti

but he keeps on forgetting what he

spaghetti

54,074 notes

chafing-nipples:

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

that’s pretty fucking metal

(Source: nargacutie)

170,205 notes

svvitzerland:

you can see in tentacools eyes that it hates life

svvitzerland:

you can see in tentacools eyes that it hates life

1,364 notes

trillow:

you’re under arrest. you have the right to remain silent. please, please remain silent. please, stop yodelling

14,215 notes

craigslistdad:

and that’s when it came up and swallowed me last dollar

craigslistdad:

and that’s when it came up and swallowed me last dollar

(Source: clambistro)

257,925 notes